Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Most of my adolescence and all of my adulthood, I have really only seen marriage as a “piece of paper.” I always thought, “Why does a man need a piece of paper to tell him he loves her?” While I still partly agree with this, my views on marriage have changed drastically over these last 2 months.
A couple weeks ago, my pastor started a sermon series on family, love and marriage. And after listening, I feel like God has really opened my eyes and my heart. This sermon series, Converge, has opened my heart more than I ever thought possible. Listening to Michael, my pastor, speak of marriage and love seemed to literally melt the ice off of my cold heart. I’m still learning more about God’s word and it really helps to have a pastor who is so gifted with sharing and explaining the word of God. I’ve learned what God really intended for marriage to be. Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper. Marriage is about two people becoming one. Two people making a promise to God to spend the rest of their lives together no matter what.
To me, that’s a scary. Finding a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me? A man making a promise to God to spend the rest of his life with me?
I never saw myself getting married. Honestly, I’ve always struggled with my self-esteem when it came to things like love and marriage. I don’t know what it feels like for a guy to love me. I’ve never had a guy in love with me. So, “Why would a guy ever want to marry me?,” is basically what I’ve told myself for at least a decade. Most people who know me pretty well, know that I don’t have a great track record when it comes to men. Guys in my life don’t stick around. My biological father made a promise to my mother when they married and yet abandoned her and me when I was born. But God blessed her with my father not long after that. He is the only man that has never abandoned me and I do thank God that he was brought into my life.
I used to believe that God was punishing me. Punishing me for living a life full of sexual immorality. Living a life far away from Jesus Christ. But I can’t blame him. Why give me such a wonderful gift when I never truly understood the meaning?
The more I read the Bible and the closer I become with God and Jesus Christ, the more I realize what a blessing marriage is. Listening to the sermons and understanding what marriage really is made me cry. Made me cry harder than I have cried in awhile. I didn’t cry because I was sad. I cried because I was learning, for the first time, what marriage was truly meant to be and it’s beautiful.
I pray one day that God will bless me with such a wonderful gift.
Journey to Faith 